16 August 2011

Save a place for me, I'll be there soon.

I heard a song today by Matthew West, called "Save a Place For Me."

Six years and some change ago I lost a friend in an auto accident, his name was Kyle. There is zero doubt in my mind that he changed my life.

The day after an incident my freshman year of highschool, I got to talk to him for what seemed like the first time. I was heartbroken, I was broken beyond repair, and I was contemplating leaving this world, because it was too much for me to handle.

I was 14 and I was sexually molested by someone I trusted, by someone that I looked up to, by a teacher of mine at the time, by someone who didn't know that he would shatter my world into a million pieces. He had no idea that I would still be trying to repair my life almost 10 years later.

I remember the conversation between myself and my dear friend, just like it was yesterday. We hadn't talked in a long time, but he still assured me that he was there for me. He told me that I was worth more than I knew, my life was going to be more, as long as I gave it a chance. Before we talked that night, I was ready to show my ass to the world, give everyone the middle finger, and say peace out.

Today...I'm alive. Most days I'm happy.

If I had left this earth 8 years ago...I wouldn't have my son. I wouldn't have a smart ass husband. I wouldn't be living in the middle of nowhere, Kansas, but its alright. I'm not alone in it anymore. Save a place for me buddy, I'll be there to hang out soon enough.

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