29 March 2010

Today I get to go to the dentist.

I'm scared.

I went in last week for the "new patient evaluation" or whatever it's called- so today I get to go in for a cleaning, and tomorrow I get to go in and get 2 of my fillings fixed that have fallen apart from the last dentist.
I'm usually really good with any kind of office visit, but not this one. I had a panic attack at the eval, so it's kinda got me wondering what will happen today..when they're actually doing something. Tomorrow, especially..ugh.

On top of getting all of that done today, I'm sick. I'm not so sick that I can't get out of bed, but I'm sick enough that I can't really breathe, and I have zero voice.
Everyday has something good about it though, right? Today it's storming. I've got the dark sky, the rain, the wind, I love it! I guess it's nothing like TN storms that I'm used to, but it's nice for up here. You wanna know what else is good about today? Luke is probably going to a poker night kind of thing tonight (which isn't good), but I won't have to cook tonight. I can sit on my butt watching TV and being sick..and he can't do anything about it!

Some people always get the short end of the stick.

I've had this blog "made" for a couple of weeks now, just haven't really had anything to say.

As most of you know, we're now up here at Ft. Lewis, and we're expecting a little boy the first week of August!

All of my OB appts have gone great up until now, but this past Friday I had my sonogram appt, and they found out that baby Ivan has VSD, which is short for ventricular septal defect. I guess it would be more accurate to say that he has a VSD. Either way, it's the most common congenital heart defect found in babies. It basically means that when his heart was splitting off into 4 chambers there became a defect (basically a hole) between the right & left ventricles, which I believe are the lower 2 chambers. In 4 out of 5 situations it usually repairs itself, but the odd one out has to have surgery to repair it, usually within the first few months of life. If it isn't repaired, the blood will continue to flow somewhat backwards, causing a shortage of oxygen in the body.

I never in a million years thought that I would have to deal with this, but right now I'm just hoping and praying that the hole closes itself before he's born, or shortly afterward he's born.

I'm a little over 21 weeks now, and it's hard knowing that the little angel in there doing cartwheels at all hours of the night has this hole in his heart..I feel like if he needs surgery that I could be the "bad mother" for putting him through that sort of pain. I might just be going crazy :)

Everyone just please keep our little family and baby Ivan in your prayers, as praying is all I really know to do right now.

KB