26 February 2011

Infidelity, best friends, and learning to forgive.

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
 
Okay, so this is going to be a touchy subject for some. Others will want to give advice, and others will say "leave and don't look back."

Some people feel that emotional cheating is not the same to physical cheating. I believe that cheating is cheating, no ifs ands or buts. I have a friend who is going through a similar situation right now. I don't know the details, and I don't need to..but I know that it hurts. Noone knows the full details to the situation that my husband and I are in except for us and God, and no one needs to.

I no longer have a best friend who can help me through things that might happen. I'm pretty much on my own out here and it's rough. I've made it for 1.5 years on my own, though..so I know that I underestimated myself when we moved out here. Things have come up that I've had to deal with, and things have come up that I couldn't deal with alone, but had to anyway. I miss having friends.

I'm not sure where I'm going with all of this, but I want to touch on the subject of forgiveness right quick. Something happened with me 6 years ago that was traumatizing, to say the least. I hospital jumped for a couple of years, trying to find help, and trying to learn to let go..but I never found comfort. I always thought that I had forgiven and moved on, but it still haunted my dreams. I still had panic attacks all the time and I still cried for no reason. I saw the man who had hurt me one night, and I forgave him. I don't know why, and I don't know how, but I did. I still hurt all the time, but I'm not angry at him anymore.

Forgiveness is something that you must learn to do. If you've never really been hurt then I don't believe that it's that hard..but when your trust has been broken time and time again, that's when it's harder to do. It gets to the point that you don't want to forgive because you get tired of getting taken advantage of. You start staying angry at whoever hurt you..but when you're able to let it all go- it's so freeing.

When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."


24 February 2011

05 February 2011

Things that make life easier?

If things can make my life a little bit easier, I'm all for it.

Are you good at cleaning? That's great, come help me straighten up my house!
Are you Dora the Explorer? You get on my nerves, but you keep my son happy so that I can write this blog!
Are you a CUPCAKE MAKER?!?! Come home to me!

Last night, my husband bought me a cupcake maker...and I'm in love.
I usually enjoy making everything from scratch, and beating the eggs and batter by hand or with my wonderful KitchenAid. I like the waiting that you have to endure while the cakes are in the oven, and then I enjoy savoring them once they're cooled and frosted.
But this new appliance that has made its way into my kitchen has me feeling like a kid again. Not only can you make cupcakes in it, you can make tarts, pies, cheesecakes, you name it- you can probably make it in it. Know what else is awesome? It only took 7 minutes to cook a full batch of corn muffins, when it usually takes 20ish in the oven, plus 10 minutes to preheat. So 7 minutes, or 30?

This morning I made corn bread muffins, just to be able to use it!

After 7 long minutes...(and I actually left them in a little bit too long..)


After 7 long minutes...(and I actually left them in a little bit too long..)


Earlier in the day Luke graduated..congrats to hubby on his degree!

We also had another big milestone that was met with flying colors..6 months of breastfeeding! If it hadn't been for Luke, Ivan would probably be eating formula today. I wanted to give up after the first week. It hurt, we weren't very good at it, and it was making me exhausted! But on Feb 3, I hit my 6 month mark. I figure Ivan can nurse until he's 2 if he wants it. That might change when he gets older- he might go beyond 2 years, or he might self wean before then. Either way, I'm pretty stinking proud.