29 January 2013

Dear deployment, I rocked you.

It's been almost a year since I've posted here- wow! Time flies when you're having fun!

Last year on March 22, Luke left for his third deployment. It was our "first" together. His last deployment I was so in love with him that it broke my heart to watch him leave, even though we weren't together. This time was so much worse.

I was 8 weeks pregnant when he left, and I was dreading facing this pregnancy alone, as well as trying to raise Ivan by myself while his dad was on the other side of the world. The days before he left I was a huge ball of emotions. I cried at nothing. I cried at night when I thought he was asleep, but he was always there to hold me and let me sob on his chest. I remember the morning that he left- I couldn't stop shaking. We left our house and I drove- thinking that maybe I could stay calm. We both cried all the way to the drop off point. If watching my other half walk away was hard, watching him kiss Ivan goodbye was even harder. Ivan didn't know what was coming. That day was the first time I had ever seen Luke cry, and knowing that he was in that much pain made my heart shatter.

The days came and went, some with tears, some without, but we made it. I found out that we were having a little girl and couldn't wait to tell Luke! I had planned on making a huge "It's a girl!" care package, but my excitement had me calling him as soon as my appointment was over. I knew he was exhausted, but he stayed awake long enough for that phone call. I was still due on Halloween, and I was still hoping to go past my due date so that I could take Ivan out and get him dressed up.

I kept hearing that he might be coming home soon, and that it might be for good!

On October 20 I woke up before the sun and couldn't make myself stay in bed any longer. He was coming home TOMORROW! I cleaned, procrastinated with some birth related things, and tried to relax. I slept for about 2 hours that night so excited about picking him up- my time was finally here, and I couldn't wait for the kiss that I had so desperately wanted for the past 7 months. He called saying his flight had been delayed- I was less than thrilled because I had been having contractions off and on all morning. I don't know if it was the stress, the excitement, or just time for Grace to make her appearance..but she was waiting patiently for her daddy to be home to welcome her into the world.

At 435 the plane landed. I waited not so patiently at the airport with Ivan, and our photographer Rachel. Rachel said "Hey, there's a plane!" AND THERE HE WAS!

All the months of waiting were worth that first kiss, that first hug, that moment of knowing that he's home and he's safe.