Infidelity, best friends, and learning to forgive.

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
 
Okay, so this is going to be a touchy subject for some. Others will want to give advice, and others will say "leave and don't look back."

Some people feel that emotional cheating is not the same to physical cheating. I believe that cheating is cheating, no ifs ands or buts. I have a friend who is going through a similar situation right now. I don't know the details, and I don't need to..but I know that it hurts. Noone knows the full details to the situation that my husband and I are in except for us and God, and no one needs to.

I no longer have a best friend who can help me through things that might happen. I'm pretty much on my own out here and it's rough. I've made it for 1.5 years on my own, though..so I know that I underestimated myself when we moved out here. Things have come up that I've had to deal with, and things have come up that I couldn't deal with alone, but had to anyway. I miss having friends.

I'm not sure where I'm going with all of this, but I want to touch on the subject of forgiveness right quick. Something happened with me 6 years ago that was traumatizing, to say the least. I hospital jumped for a couple of years, trying to find help, and trying to learn to let go..but I never found comfort. I always thought that I had forgiven and moved on, but it still haunted my dreams. I still had panic attacks all the time and I still cried for no reason. I saw the man who had hurt me one night, and I forgave him. I don't know why, and I don't know how, but I did. I still hurt all the time, but I'm not angry at him anymore.

Forgiveness is something that you must learn to do. If you've never really been hurt then I don't believe that it's that hard..but when your trust has been broken time and time again, that's when it's harder to do. It gets to the point that you don't want to forgive because you get tired of getting taken advantage of. You start staying angry at whoever hurt you..but when you're able to let it all go- it's so freeing.

When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."