I had an appointment with the FAME clinic today, which is basically a counseling clinic if you need it. I was very impatient when I was there, even though I was 20 minutes early. However, I really didn't expect to wait almost 40 minutes to be seen..when there were two other people in the waiting area with me..and they were waiting on people to get done! The guy that I eventually ended up seeing came out and told the receptionist that he "had forgotten that he had a patient, but he was going to go eat lunch early anyways." I was heated. That's when he saw me give her the stink eye..then promptly came back 5 minutes later and called my name. Let's not forget that this is the same guy from my last post who doesn't trust me as a historian of my own life. Piss off.
I don't think I need counseling. I've got a great husband who supports me, and is there for me whether or not I want him to be! I've finally accepted that I won't be able to scare him off anytime soon. Oh well..I guess I'm stuck with him. Too bad.
Things have otherwise been great around the house. Luke leaves for Idaho tomorrow morning and won't be back until Thursday night, so I'm kinda bummed about that. I always get upset when he leaves, even if just for a few days, because as independent as I am, I also know that there are some things that are very hard for me to take care of myself..like if I had another debilitating panic attack and ended up in the hospital again..who would take care of Ivan? It's little things like that which make me very anxious, and very scared.
It would be nice if I had some real friends here who weren't total backstabbers like everyone else is turning out to be. As much as I love my lil man, 3 days of no other human interaction might get the best of me. If it's pretty I might go walk the airfield just to get outside, but I don't know.
I missed church yesterday, as I wasn't ready to face God after what happened on Thursday. Not only was I mad that He could've let me hit rock bottom again after doing so well, I was mad at everyone there. I was mad that no one wants to be my friend, no matter how hard I try. I was mad because I've given up at making friends, because I can't seem to find someone that I click with- and I know that once I do, we'll just be moving again. I was just mad at the world, so I stayed home with Luke and the baby, got some laundry done, and watched some Prison Break. I've got a crush on Dominic Purcell...but don't tell anyone!
So, in other news: there is a girl who works at the bikini coffee hut near our house that has MASSIVE boobs. Those bad boys must weigh 10lbs apiece. Note: I don't go there to look at the chicks. I go there because they're the only hut I've found with the powdered chai in the flavor I like. But still- major tatas! They're always so nice there- it seems like even though they're showing off their bodies all day, that they like the break of not having someone look at them like a piece of meat. I just want my soy chai, and nothing more.
I'm also looking for someone to make a custom header for me...any takers? I can't offer much, besides maybe some cupcakes or something..but I would really love to have one.
switch ppl at FAME, see if you can get in with Dr. Anderson. Thats who i see. I like her. I have panic attacks too, they dwindled once all the baby hormones died down. If ever anything happens and you need to come over, just msg me or call. And seriously, if you want to just come over and hang out, let me know! come to a playdate too! so what if baby cant actually play with everyone! You can come talk with us!
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