Yes, I told Luke "I want you to stay" which changed his coming home date from 18June to either 16 or 17 July. I know that technically now I'm not able to whine and be pissed about it..but I'm doing both, and I'm enjoying it. Just like I told him..it's not so much that it's because I'm here alone, it's because I'm scared that Ivan will come early and that I'll be completely alone.

I know, I know..it's not a deployment and I should be happy. But do you really think that changes how much I miss him? Do you think it makes me worry any less about what's going on here? Of course it doesn't. I'm not myself when he isn't here. There are so many things that need to be done that I'm now doing alone, when we had planned on doing them together.

And to all of you people who tell me that it'll be alright...I'm well aware. I know that he'll come home if I need him, and I know that I'll get everything done on time, I also know that everything will be fine- even if I feel like I'm going crazy. Don't tell me something that I already know. I'm sick and tired of hearing you tell me how you were fine, and how your friend was fine. I am neither you, and I'm not your friend. Our situations are totally different, believe me.

So if you tell me again what you think..I'm gonna tell you to piss off.